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Obviously, this is long overdue. We need an update on the badger situation. Things are getting rife.

Last week, we reported that badger attacks on frogs were a strangely fluctuating phenomenon, and we were right. However, on Tuesday we went to the lake district, and en route we witnessed not one, but two slayed badgers, fallen not at the hands of frogs, but our old friend the motor car. A worrying development.

Imagine our surprise, then, when we saw what badgers had been up to more recently in protest. Instead of terrorising frogs, and playing on the highways and byways, they’ve taken refuge in one suburban garden, and ganged up on a ghostly cat in what has been dubbed in some circles as the “Badgers Summer of Love”. Apparently they were upset that Google didn’t invite them to help with code or something…