The World's Greatest Blog

Burn’s Night is closing in fast and this year is especially important as the 250th anniversary of Robert Burns birth. On 25th January, Scots around the world will celebrate the romance and nationalism of their heroic bard.

Scotland’s national poet sparked a historic tradition of eating haggis and reciting verse which continues to this day and results in Macsweens exporting eight hundred tonnes of haggis abroad every year. Due to import controls, Americans find it difficult to take proper haggis home with them – making it something of a rare delicacy.

Here is the programme for a typical Burn’s Night:

The top table walks into the room or hall accompanied by the sound of bagpipes and are seated.

The host or chairperson greets everyone and then says the Selkirk Grace (“Burns’s Grace at Kirkcudbright”):

Some hae meat and canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat and we can eat,
And sae the Lord be thankit.

The haggis is then piped in by a procession including the chef, the piper and someone to address the haggis. Whisky should now be topped up in anticipation of the toast. Check out the Burns’ Night Whisky Guide here.

Address to the Haggis:

Fair fa’ your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o’ the pudding-race!
Aboon them a’ yet tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy o’a grace
As lang’s my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin was help to mend a mill
In time o’need,
While thro’ your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dight, [the haggis is cut open at this point along its length]
An’ cut you up wi’ ready sleight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like ony ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin’, rich!

Then, horn for horn, they stretch an’ strive:
Deil tak the hindmost! on they drive,
Till a’ their weel-swall’d kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
Bethankit! hums.

Is there that owre his French ragout
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad make her spew
Wi’ perfect sconner,
Looks down wi’ sneering, scornfu’ view
On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckles as wither’d rash,
His spindle shank, a guid whip-lash;
His nieve a nit;
Thro’ blody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread.
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He’ll mak it whissle;
An’ legs an’ arms, an’ hands will sned,
Like taps o’ trissle.

Ye Pow’rs, wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o’ fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies;
But, if ye wish her gratefu’ prayer
Gie her a haggis!

The audience applaud the speaker and then toast the haggis when prompted by The Speaker saying “The Haggis”.

The traditional Bill o’ Fare:

Starter

Traditional cock-a-leekie soup;

Main course

Haggis, neeps & tatties (turnips and potatoes);

Sweet

Clootie Dumpling (a pudding prepared in a linen cloth or cloot) or Typsy Laird (a Scottish sherry trifle);

Cheeseboard with bannocks (oatcakes) and tea/coffee.

Plenty of whisky should then be served, followed by the First Entertainment which should be a selected performance of Burn’s work. This is followed by an oration on the life of Robert Burns building up to the toast “To the Immortal Memory of Robert Burns!“. There is then another song or poem of Burns’ performed as the Second Entertainment. The Toast To the Lassies is then said and was traditionally designed to thank to women who had prepared the meal but is much more wide-ranging in modern times. Another modern innovation is the Reply to the Toast to the Lassies or “Toast to the Laddies“. These toasts are usually humourous but should not be offensive. The Final Entertainment is one last performance of Burns’ work before the Vote of Thanks said by the Chair who then goes on to invite guests to stand and sing Auld Lang Syne:

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind ?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne ?

CHORUS:
For auld lang syne, my jo,
For auld lang syne,
We’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.

And surely ye’ll be your pint-stowp !
And surely I’ll be mine !
And we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.

CHORUS

We twa hae run about the braes,
And pu’d the gowans fine ;
But we’ve wander’d mony a weary foot,
Sin auld lang syne.

CHORUS

We twa hae paidl’d i’ the burn,
Frae morning sun till dine ;
But seas between us braid hae roar’d
Sin auld lang syne.

CHORUS

And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere !
And gie’s a hand o’ thine !
And we’ll tak a right gude-willy waught,
For auld lang syne.

CHORUS