Greatest Blog

The Internet Is Crazy

Joseph Elliot — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 13:56:53 +0000

The internet, sometimes, seems like a crazy place, full of crazy people.

At least that’s what it seems like when you read my blog (this website), isn’t it?

Not really, but it is confusing, and alarming, and a little distressing that websites like this one exist at all. It is also more than a little frustrating that this website is more popular than most of the other important things I have ever done.

However, having said all that, this popularity does allow me to point people towards short stories, which I am very proud of.

Sometimes, people will even read those short stories, and be delighted by them.

Which is kind of the point.

You have to turn over a lot of stones to find the golden woodlouse.Similar Posts:

Super Bowl XLVII

Joseph Elliot — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 13:48:54 +0000

On of the things I did not talk about this week, was Super Bowl XLVI, and one of the things I am unlikely to talk about at any point in 2012 or 2013 will be Super Bowl XLVII.

That’s not because I don’t like Gridiron – or American Football to those of you who are British – or Football to those of you who are American. Nope. It’s because I don’t know very much about the sport at all, and I feel I am past learning all the names of players and teams now.

I used to play American Football as a boy, and enjoy watching it occassionally, but that’s as far as my love of the sport can extend, owing to the timing of games, my geographic location, and my lack of free time!

Leave a comment below if you’d like to talk about Football, or the Super Bowl.Similar Posts:

The Word “Swagger” Has Now Officially Been Overused

Joseph Elliot — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 18:53:49 +0000

This is just a short, polite, request to my friends in the popular song writing business in case they had not noticed that the use of the word “swagger” is now no longer cool.

In fact, using the word “swagger” at all, for any purpose, other than to describe walking around as if you own the place, is something that may well become illegal in many nation states.

At the very least, we might get a new Article added to the International Convention on Human Rights which is, specifically, the Right Not To Hear the Word Swagger Used.

So please, for the love of everything, do not use the word any more.

But for absolute clarity, if you really can’t avoid using the word Swagger, make sure you don’t rhyme it with “Jagger”, whether in reference to Mick Jagger, or as some sort of street lingo-esque mispronunciation of the word “jacker” short, presumably, for hi-jacker.

Thanks.Similar Posts:

Beat Two Eggs and Grease the Cake Tin

Joseph Elliot — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 18:48:16 +0000

My jobs for today are to beat two eggs and grease the cake tin.

Life as an author is indeed difficult.Similar Posts:

Get Visitors To Your Blog!

Joseph Elliot — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 18:28:51 +0000

So how do we do it, again and again?

Just how do we get so many visitors to our blog?

How do you do it?

How does he do it?

There are lots of ways, and not all of them work for all people, but many people get many people to visit their blogs. And here is how: they make a blog that a lot of people would enjoy, then those people who would enjoy the blog discover it, and read it, and enjoy it, and they share it with their friends and they return to read it again in future.

The first step, therefore, is to make a blog that people will enjoy.

The next step is to make it easy for people to share links to your blog.

Another thing to make sure of is that your blog is search engine friendly.

Something else you should think about is to make it easy for people to comment and interact on your blog.

Importantly, you should make it easy for people to subscribe by RSS or email (use Feedburner, and place the buttons and forms somewhere obvious).

There are lots of other ways, but if you exhaust the above and still can’t get traffic, then it is probably your output (content) that needs a little attention next!

Leave a comment below if you have a good tip you think I have missed out.Similar Posts:

Ways To Make Money From Domain?

Joseph Elliot — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 18:24:56 +0000

I know that a lot of people want to make money online, and one way they want to make money is from a domain, specifically.

There are several ways in which a person can profit from a domain, including:

sell the domain – for profit – to other people who want to own the domain;
put ads on a domain (also known as domain parking) and hope people happen across the website, and click on ads for profit;
Install some form of e-commerce website, like a shop, on the domain, and start online trading;
Install some sort of blog on the domain, put ads or products into the blog, and build an audience. This is not a short term, or even a medium term plan, and it has a success rate of about 1 in a million…

Feel free to list your favourite ways to make money from a domain in the comments section below.Similar Posts:

How To Get More Visitors On My Blog?

Joseph Elliot — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 18:22:04 +0000

Lots of people want to know how to get more visitors onto a website or blog.

And the answer is usually so very simple: talk about something that people want to know about, and do so in an interesting and entertaining way.

Actually. Now that I think about it. It is not so simple. Well, if it were simple, those people who are looking to get more visitors to their blogs would probably not be looking for this – they’d just be writing about things they know, and these things would be something that people wanted to learn about.

Those visitors would be entertained and/or informed.

Those visitors would tell their friends about this great blog – they would drop links to it in their own blogs. Those visitors would hit “share” and “like” and “tweet” all over the place.

Google would upgrade and enhance it’s opinion of the blog in question.

So, to clarify, to get more visitors to your blog, don’t look outside, focus on yourself. Write more. Write better. Add videos and images (with permission, of course). Make more entertaining. Improve.

If you do the above, and make sure that there is a “market” or, rather, “audience” out there, somewhere, for what you are saying, each time you say it, then you will not fail to increase your audience.

You’ll get more visitors. You’ll make more money. Or, you’ll just feel a little bit better about the fact that what you are saying isn’t just spilling down the digital drain.

Whatever your blogging goal might be, if one of those goals is increasing traffic, then you should focus almost all of your effort on improving your blog – and nothing else – if you make it good, people will find it.Similar Posts:

How to Manipulate People

Joseph Elliot — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 13:18:15 +0000

Lots of people scour the internet looking for ways in which they can learn from the internet about ways in which they can manupulate people.

This sort of behaviour can most charitably be described as a little controlling, but, not to worry, I am here to dispence useful advice and allow you to learn one or two ways in which you might be able to achieve that aim, and manipulate people.

With my method, you won’t be able to manipulate an actual person – because that would be a little bit meddly and wrong – but, instead, you will be able to manipulate a plasticine model of a person.

Method:

get a plasticine model of a person;
use your hands – or a tool – to manupulate it

That’s it!

Leave a comment below with your own time-honoured manipulation techniques.Similar Posts:

CNN Think Mark Zuckerberg’s Name is Jeff

Joseph Elliot — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 17:45:47 +0000

Facebook could be going public very very soon, but that doesn’t mean that people know what Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg’s first name is.

According to CNN, Facebook was started by Jeff Zuckerberg:

Fortune: check. Fame? Not just yet.Similar Posts:

How Old is Justin Bieber?

Joseph Elliot — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 23:38:40 +0000

What you really wanted to know today was the answer to this question, How Old is Justin Bieber? wasn’t it?

Well, that being the case, I’m going to do you a rather large favour right now, by answering your important question without any further ado.

Justin Bieber was born on March 1st 1994, which means that (at the time of writing):

Justin Bieber is 17 years old

If you found this information helpful, then Facebook share, Tweet, Linkedin Share, Digg and otherwise spread this page throughout the whole internet. Also, link here from your own website or blog with the text “How Old if Justin Bieber?” as the link.

Leave a comment below to tell the world just how happy you are to know that Justin Bieber is as old as he really is.Similar Posts: