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SLAVOMIR is from Slovakia. He has been an Australian citizen for about a month and he is our newest friend. Slavo has kindly lent us his car whilst on his Christmas holidays in the former Eastern bloc. During a meal on the shore front, Slavo told us of the curious living in Slovakia…

How to avoid military service unsuccessfully

Eat three bulbs -that’s bulbs not cloves! -of garlic a day. This will not absolve you of any patriotic duties but the garlic will ooze out of every pore and provide light entertainment when the sargeant-major tries to discipline a recruit whilst reaping the benefits of a 6 bulb fart.

Easter in Slovakia

For those familiar with Borat, this will come as no surprise. Simply find a stick, decorate with ribbons and proceed to beat women around the village with it. Apparently, women often feel left out if they are not hit with a stick, so none must be ignored in the ritual Easter beating. (If anyone has a more detailed explanation of this phenomena, please please please get in touch).

Christmas in Slovakia

Think roasted carp rather than roasted turkey. Also, no baths at Christmas as the bath will be taken up with the live carp -ready for fresh eating on Christmas day. Slavo has fond memories of watching the carp swim round the bath at Christmas time. He informs us that carp at Christmas can actually be quite entertaining. Especially when it jumps around when the family try to chop its head off. This leads to a hilarious scene of “hunt-the-carp-around-the-kitchen” with all members of the family attempting to corner the flippery friend.

Romania

According to Slavo -not much fun, though the clothes on your back could, once upon a time, be sold for hard cash.

More tales from Eastern Europe to follow.