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So last week I was watching the news here in sunny Australia and discovered that Paris Hilton had been in town somewhere in Oz.

People went absolutely beserk. Honestly. Queuing up for hours to get a glimpse of her and that sort of shit. It made me pretty angry. Paris Hilton is famous for a few things, none of them laudable qualities, she is, in no particular order:

1. From an incredibly rich family
2. Blond
3. Shallow
4. Of questionable sexual health

Anyone who is brought to tears by her mere presence – I shit you not – is simply exposing themselves to ridicule from all. She is not, I repeat NOT, Mother Teresa; Ghandi; Martin Luther King; someone famous for being good at something (anything).

This annoyed me for a good twenty minutes or so, but did not ruin my dinner, or make me sleep any less.

Imagine my chagrin, then, when I was cocking about on Google only to discover that the most commonly searched phrase in 2006 (besides “Bebo” and “MySpace”) was… Paris Hilton…

Ok, a few loonies dotted here or there is understandable, but the above evidence would suggest that everyone in the world is fascinated by possibly the most vapid person to have existed for a good few hundred years.

But lets channel this anger and turn it into something positive, something great, that I’ve wanted to try for ages…

So here it is:

The Great Paris Hilton Experiment (Paris Hilton the idiot, not the hotel)

Remember earlier when I mentioned that the only words more regularly searched on the mighty Google than “Paris Hilton” were Bebo and MySpace??? Good, because it’s important, in more ways than one…

Firstly it shows that “social networking” is the only thing which holds our interest more than a blond morom who regularly stultifies herself in public. Which is interesting. I’m not going to have a pop at the worlds most popular pass-time though, I’m going to use it!
Here’s the important bit, we can use this power to take over the internet, perform a massive worldwide experiment, and reap the results, as we laugh at how mad the world is become…
How?

Most of you will use one of these social networking sites, or will at least have signed up to them, all I need you to do is this:

1. Log into Bebo, MySpace, Friends Reunited or whatever you like/use – as long as it has a BLOG function on it, or there is some way for you to create an internet HYPERLINK on it.
2. Write some stuff about Paris Hilton, if you can be bothered, AS LONG AS YOU provide a link to THIS PAGE (http://greatest-blog.com/?p=42) with the words: The Great Paris Hilton Experiment (Paris Hilton the idiot, not the hotel)… Just like that.
3. Tell all your friends on MySpace, Bebo etc to do the same on their blog pages, as well as going onto theirs and doing the same (as long as you know they won’t mind )
4. Email your mates telling them about “The Great Paris Hilton Experiment (Paris Hilton the idiot, not the hotel)” and detailing the above, send them to this page if you like and ask if they can forward it on to their friends!
5. That’s It… Sit back and wait for the results.

If you own a website, please feel free to put the link on pages of your site. Or, you can put the link in message forums (without spamming mind you) where this is allowed. You can change the words (it is to be encouraged if you do… the reason why is boring) as long as you include “Paris Hilton” in there and you don’t include too many other words in the link.

What will happen?

Maybe nothing at all. But, if my guess is correct, we’ll get this page near to the top of Google and, which is the best part, we’ll be helping the world to realise that Paris Hilton is actually a bit of a fool, and not really worth searching for. Maybe next year there will be a sea change and it will be “Paris who?”… I’m not holding my breath…

Anyhow, I better explain why I think this will happen:

Basically, Google (and other search engines) have a long time since changed the way that they rank pages for search results. It used to be the case that merely listing a certain keyword many times would propel a page up the rankings… Not any more… That is still a factor (on this page, I’ve got Paris Hilton written quite a lot, I’ve got links with Paris Hilton in them as well as Paris Hilton in the titles, all of which helps… I’ve done my bit!) Without getting too technical:

• a websites importance is gauged by how many other sites link to it
• The terms used to link to a page in a site have as much or more influence than those contained within the page
• Thousands or millions of pages, blogs and other links all coming with “Paris Hilton” in there will boost a site dramatically for the term

Also, as you’ll all have a blog post sending people here, they’ll come and read this and do the same even if they are not your friends!!

Pretty soon we’ll have dominated the world with the anti-Parisism notions expressed at the top of the page.

I’d like to see if we can reach the top page of google results and, more importantly, how many genuine Googling Paris Hiltonites we can catch out when we do. As I can tell what each and every person has searched for when they land here, I will definitely be able to see who got here by looking up “Paris Hilton”. Then they’ll obviously have read this, and maybe they’ll learn a little about their heroine.

All results will be posted here. Watch this space. I’m off to get the ball rolling…

By the way, as I’ve spent most of the week thinking about this, and most of the evening writing it out, not to mention the time I’m about to spend beginning the experiment: I haven’t managed to find a job, and I really need a pound…

Anyhow, as for the experiment. We’ll have to wait and see. Experiment begins @ 22:28pm January 11 2007 (Melbourne Time).